Alumni Finding Balance in College

Class of 2025 Wardlaw+Hartridge alumni Vinay Karthik (Computer Science, Princeton University), Tapleen Kaur  (Political Science with a focus on Public Policy, Haverford College), Jini Looney (Psychology, Fordham University-Lincoln Center), Cian Nicholls (Business Analytics and Project Management, Siena University) and Rajwans Sindhar (Mechanical Engineering, University of Virginia) helped the Upper School kick off the New Year strong during the Young Alumni Panel on Thursday, January 8. The panel is an annual January highlight when we return from Winter Break.

Although their admissions process, school selection reasons and current campus experiences differed, a common theme emerged during the discussion: the role balance plays in one’s ability to make the most of college. Many of the lessons learned relate to this important concept. For example, Tapleen said that the biggest adjustment for her at Haverford was realizing that she was “more than just academics.” Much of her time at W+H revolved around her studies, but “going to college helped [her] really grow as a person. She reflected, “I have learned so much about who I am and the things I like doing. Yes, academics are important.  But what I do outside of that is just as important. You don’t realize how much you miss out on when you are sticking your nose in a book all the time.” Tapleen’s Ceramic Club involvement is one of several outlets that serve as sources for relaxation and social interaction. Those connections could be lifelong ones, she advised members of the Class of 2026 and Class of 2027, so “be open” and “talk to as many people as you can.”

Vinay echoed Tapleen’s sentiments, explaining that there is value in “making space” for non-scholastic endeavors, even in an extremely rigorous environment like Princeton. He soon realized, “When I was working on a problem set, if I had just spent that one hour attending that social event at this club or trying a new activity, I could have learned a lot, too, by exploring that.” He joined the wind ensemble to  continue to perform his alto sax in front of audiences, and he often attends South Asian student group events to gain a deeper awareness of his heritage while enjoying good food with friends.

All the alumni touched on how friends – being part of a community – enriches their lives and can be good influences in terms of encouraging balance. Raj was a serious athlete at W+H, but knew nothing about football until UVA buddies convinced her to tag along for  a game in the stadium. “I thought I would be bored out of my mind,” she admitted, “but it was like the most fun I’ve ever had.” After all, besides its stellar scholastics, UVA’s vibrant social life led to her choosing the school in the first place. “You go to class to learn, but once Thursday, Friday, or Saturday hits, that’s when you go out with your friends. That’s when you do things that you normally wouldn’t do during the week.”

Jini stressed, as did other participants, that fun is not just reserved for the weekend. She advised, “It’s really important to find the little things throughout the day that bring you joy.” To her surprise, she, too, has discovered that the prospect of being with friends has led her to enjoy things she previously would not have considered. Jini relayed with an exuberant smile that she gladly joins friends at a nearby restaurant that serves some of their favorite food, even if it is not hers. “There’s this one sushi spot – I don’t even eat sushi – but I love going there,” she gushed. “I am so excited and happy to keep going there.”

Cian wholeheartedly agreed that “being with your best friends 24/7” is one of the best parts of college. Whether it's spending time in the dorm, heading to the gym, going for walks to clear your head, or scouting out meal options that might be more appealing than dining hall fare, the activity doesn’t matter. With whom you do it does.

This message – finding balance by carving out time for things other than the usual activities as well as for loved ones – resonated with me because it is one that Ms. Honan, Dr. Abate, Mrs. Brown  and I frequently share with students. (When you are in an advising role, you can sneak in guidance based on our own life experience, even if that particular piece of guidance is unsolicited. It’s a perk of our job.)  I conveyed this message after I arrived home and my family wanted to get the lowdown on how the program went. My youngest daughter, upon hearing our alumni’s perspectives, jumped up and said, “Mommy, that’s like the theme of The Great Eggscape!, and you could use the story for your blog!” Ten-year-old Hannah was right.

The Great Eggscape!, written by Jory John and illustrated by Pete Oswald, focuses on Shel. Unlike his friends, who leave the carton and “eggscape” to other aisles before the store opens, Shel stays put. He enjoys quiet hobbies, insisting that “adventures of the imagination” are more his style. Still, he is a tad curious about what the others are doing. That curiosity turns to concern once he realizes that they should have come back for lunch. He goes to look for his pals, locating all except the last member of the dozen. Hide-and-seek continues, with everyone helping to decipher the meaning of a note containing what could be a hint. When Meg is found in the “Bold Coffee” bin, she congratulates Shel and sheepishly says, “Glad you found your way out of the carton, for once, and into the world.” He quickly credits the mission’s success to the entire gang’s efforts and declares, “You know, looking for eggs is fun. Finding eggs is more fun.  But the most fun of all?  A chance to frolic with your friends!” He then proposes that they do another Great Eggscape tomorrow, much to the crew’s delight.

So, thank you to Vinay, Tapleen, Jini, Cian and Raj for reminding us why we all need to take a break once in a while. And thanks to Shel – and Hannah! – for driving that point home.